The Secret to Success Nobody Talks About
Success—financial and otherwise—is not tied to abnormally high levels of self-control and discipline, though it’s tempting to believe it is. If you could just work a little harder, be a little more disciplined, and exercise a little more self-control, all your dreams would come true, right?
We hear this rhetoric about everything from our fitness goals to our financial goals:
If you just had the willpower to get up earlier and exercise, you’d be more fit.
If you just had the self-control to stop spending, you’d have more money.
“It feels fair—if someone works harder, they should achieve more.”
If you just had the discipline to work longer hours, you’d earn more.
It’s compelling because it feels fair—if someone works harder, they should achieve more.
We buy into this “meritocracy messaging”: that if we want to achieve great things or experience success, it has to feel like work. A healthy body, an overflowing bank account, an amazing job…surely these aspects of Adulting Porn are only available to those with the self-control and work ethic to arduously strive for them, right?
But successful people are not more disciplined—they’ve just found approaches they enjoy.
Take exercise and healthy eating, for example: I don’t enjoy wandering around a big box gym, poking at a few smelly machines, and indiscriminately curling dumbbells. So guess what? I don’t. If my only option for exercise were this hypothetical poorly lit big box gym with bad ’80s music and zero structure, I’d probably never exercise.
At my most fit, I was going to 7–9 fitness classes per week. I loved the format of the classes, I loved the music, I loved the instructors—I thoroughly enjoyed my time in these classes, even if we were doing four straight minutes of burpees at 5:45am.
“It wasn’t discipline that pulled me forward—it was joy.”
It wasn’t discipline that pulled me forward—it was joy. As soon as it became genuinely enjoyable, it was easy to work out. It actually required very little discipline.
This is the secret that productivity experts already know: It’s why they encourage “getting into flow state,” the magical, psychological zone wherein time collapses, the work becomes fun, and you derive a deep sense of satisfaction from whatever you’re doing.
So often we assume it’s the person who, regardless of the environment, determines the outcomes. We don’t give our environment enough credit.
But it’s easy to make good decisions when the good decisions feel good. Rather than trying to change yourself, try changing your environment instead.
Hard work ≠ guaranteed higher income
Similarly, working really hard doesn’t guarantee you’re going to make a lot of money.
Most low-wage workers are busting their asses. People with money are often no harder working than those without it. But the paradoxical relationship between work that feels “easy” and the amount of money I earn used to confuse me: How is it that I enjoy what I do more and earn more now?
“It takes more effort to pull ourselves away than to keep going.”
This two-hour-long interview with MrBeast encapsulates it well: MrBeast, aka Jimmy Donaldson, has been making YouTube videos since he was a kid, raking in more than 24 billion views on his channel and 100+ million subscribers. When he’s asked how he’s achieved so much by age 25, he has a simple answer: He’s obsessed with it. Working on videos for 18 hours a day is what he wants to do.
The idea that you have to be intensely exerting yourself or displaying herculean feats of discipline day after day to achieve outstanding results is perhaps the biggest con of all. The best results usually come from the things that make us forget to eat because we’re so engrossed. It takes more effort to pull ourselves away than to keep going.
This is why it’s crucial to pursue alignment in your life (and work, and health, and all the other things that impact your quality of life).
When the things you’re doing (your habits, your thought patterns, etc.) are in alignment with the essence of who you are, how you learn, and what you’re good at, successful results follow naturally. No need to strong-arm or force yourself to do the things you think you’re supposed to do—ease is the real goal.
Sure, there are people out there who eat dry grilled chicken with plain brown rice every day and work “boring” data entry jobs, but I’d venture a guess that the repetition and predictability of those choices is just what works for their personality types.
“They’re not harder working or smarter or better than you—they’ve just stumbled into alignment.”
The next time you’re tempted to look at someone else who seems to have it all and think, “Gosh, it just seems so easy for them,” you’re probably right! They probably are doing something that feels easy to them, and that’s why it’s going well. That’s how they manage to do it.
They’re not harder working or smarter or better than you—they’ve just stumbled into alignment.
